How to choose your massage therapist

6 questions you should be asking before hitting the "Book now" button

Arielle Shaver, LMT

9/25/20268 min read

Imagine...

you are sitting in that comfy but generic leather chair in the lobby of the spa when a massage therapist you have never met says your name from an open door to a dark hallway, with a face that looks like it hasn’t had the joy of a good laugh in a decade.

She then proceeds to walk in front of you down the hall, stopping at the open door of a massage room, and follows you in. After shutting the door, she says something like, “Welcome in to the spa. I’m Linnette. What can I help you with today?”

You clicked the button for “Deep Tissue” when scheduling this appointment, but looking at Linnette, you are a little worried that might hurt.

Is it too late to change this? You wonder. But I already paid online. Would this be weird to ask? Is she going to be one of those that thinks I’m weak if I can’t bear the pressure she thinks is best for me? But if I don’t speak up, I’ll probably be sore for days like the last time.

You remember your voice and tell Linnette you would like a medium-pressure massage and could she give extra attention to your neck and shoulders.

She nods, motions toward the table, says, “Start face down,” and then proceeds to leave the room abruptly, concluding the extremely brief conversation.

Face down in the cushion, you notice the front of your neck feels kind of collapsed, but maybe this is just standard? You think.

Also, the table is a touch on the hot side. But Linnette has set this strictly business tone, and the air about her could benefit from some of the table heat. So you keep your thoughts to yourself.

To her credit, once in the session, Linnette asks you, “How’s the pressure?”

To which you respond, “Fine.”

When what you are really thinking is, It would be nice if the front of my neck didn’t feel every push you give down my back.

But the pressure does feel fine. Good, even.

Linnette does a pretty good job. Her technique on your shoulders and neck certainly released some of the tension that was bringing your shoulders up to your ears.

But you had hoped you would be able to let your brain turn off more.

OK, now let’s imagine this scenario.

During your annual check-up, you share with your PCP that you have been experiencing constant, broad pain in your neck and under your shoulder blade.

They ask if they can feel the area and say there are some things that can be done for this kind of pain, and they’d be happy to discuss those with you, but oftentimes this kind of pain is tension-related and may benefit from a massage.

You say, “Well, that sounds great.”

And your doctor invites you to follow up on the portal if the pain doesn’t respond to the manual release of massage. Or, if it works wonders, to let her know on the portal who you went to see so she can make an appointment too!

You do a little digging around and find a massage therapist working from a chiropractor’s office.

She seems friendly from the picture on her website, but invites people to call if they are first-time clients.

While this is not as convenient, you are glad you do because her warm personality and questions about your specific experience put you at ease before you even get to the door.

Through that call, you even learned about her specific approach and how she loves to care for parents of small kids because she personally knows about the ways this season can generate extra tension in the neck and shoulders.

And now, before you even get on the table, something is different.

You already know who you are going to be working with.

You have had a chance to talk about what is bothering you.

You know a little bit about how she works.

And, maybe most importantly, you already feel like you can speak up if something doesn’t feel right.

That doesn’t guarantee that she is going to be the perfect massage therapist for you. But it gives you a much better chance of finding out.

So before you click “Book Now” on the first massage therapist who pops up in your search, I want you to ask a few questions.

Not because there is one right kind of massage therapist.

There isn't.

There are lots of good massage therapists who work in lots of different ways.

But the right massage therapist for you should be someone you feel comfortable communicating with, someone whose approach makes sense for what you need, and someone you can trust with your body.

So here are 6 questions I think you should be asking before you schedule your next massage.

1. What kind of massage do you actually specialize in?

This one seems obvious, but “I offer massage” doesn't really tell you very much. Before anything else, make sure the person you are considering is properly licensed to practice massage therapy in your state. Massage therapy is a professional field with education, standards, and licensing requirements, and you deserve to know that the person working on your body has met those requirements.

From there, it’s worth asking what they actually specialize in.

Massage therapists can have very different training, interests, specialties, and approaches. Someone who specializes in sports massage may approach your body very differently than someone who specializes in relaxation massage. Someone who primarily works with chronic pain may have a different approach than someone who mostly works with spa clients.

And neither one is necessarily better.

The question is: Does their approach sound like what you are looking for?

If you are pregnant, postpartum, dealing with an ongoing pain issue, or looking for something more therapeutic than a general relaxation massage, look for someone who has specific education and experience in those areas.

2. What happens during a first appointment?

This is a big one for me.

A first massage appointment shouldn't feel like you walked into a room, pointed to a body part, and then suddenly found yourself face down with someone's elbow in your back.

OK, maybe that is a little dramatic.

But really, you should have some idea of what to expect.

Will they ask about your health history? Your previous massage experiences? What is bothering you? What you are hoping to get out of the session?

Will they explain how they work?

Will there be time for you to ask questions?

You don't necessarily need a 45-minute interview before your massage. But there should be enough conversation for your therapist to understand who is getting on their table.

3. Will you ask me questions about my pain, body, lifestyle, or goals?

“Where does it hurt?” is a good question.

But it isn't always enough.

Pain doesn't exist in a vacuum.

How you sleep, sit, move, work, exercise, carry your kids, hold your phone, and manage stress can all be relevant pieces of the story you are bringing to the massage table.

Your massage therapist doesn't need to diagnose all of these things. That's not our job.

But we should be curious about them.

A good massage therapist should want to understand what your body is experiencing, not just find the spot that hurts and start pushing on it.

4. How do you handle pressure and feedback during the massage?

This is where you get to find out whether “How's the pressure?” actually means something.

Because let's be honest, most of us have answered “fine” when we meant, “Actually, could you please stop doing that?”

Your massage therapist should make it clear that you can speak up.

More pressure isn't automatically better.

Less pressure isn't automatically better.

The pressure that works for you today may not be the pressure that works for you next month.

Your therapist should be paying attention to your feedback and adjusting when necessary.

And you shouldn't have to worry that you're going to hurt their feelings by asking them to change something.

5. What happens if something doesn't feel right during my session?

This one is closely related to the last question, but I think it's worth asking on its own.

What if your neck feels uncomfortable in the face cradle?

What if the room is too cold?

What if you need more or less pressure?

What if you suddenly realize that the position you are in isn't working for your body?

You should be able to say something.

And your therapist should want you to say something.

Massage is supposed to be collaborative. You are not supposed to lie there silently enduring something because you don't want to be “difficult.”

You are allowed to have preferences.

Actually, I want you to have preferences.

6. Do I feel comfortable talking to this person?

This might be the most important question of all.

Not, “Did they have the most impressive website?”

Not, “Did they have the most five-star reviews?”

Not even, “Did they give me the deepest massage I've ever had?”

Do I feel comfortable with this person?

Because you are going to be vulnerable.

You are allowing someone to work on your body. You may be talking about pain, stress, pregnancy, postpartum changes, or things that you don't normally talk about with strangers.

You should feel like you can communicate with the person who is touching you.

And if you don't?

That doesn't necessarily mean they are a bad massage therapist.

It might just mean they aren't your massage therapist.

And that's OK.

You get to choose who you trust with your body

I think sometimes we make choosing a massage therapist harder than it needs to be.

We look at the certifications. We read the reviews. We compare techniques. We look for someone who promises to fix whatever hurts.

And those things can absolutely be useful when you're making a decision.

But don't forget to ask yourself a much simpler question:

Do I feel comfortable with this person?

Because you are trusting them with your body.

You should be able to ask questions. You should be able to speak up. You should be able to say, “Actually, could we try something different?”

And you should be able to leave the session feeling like you were listened to—not like you were just the next person on the schedule.

There are lots of good massage therapists who work in lots of different ways.

You don't need to find the best massage therapist.

You need to find someone who is a good fit for you.

And if you're not sure whether I'm that person, that's OK, too.

That's exactly why I offer a free call for first-time clients. We can talk about what you're experiencing, what you're hoping to get out of massage, and how I work. You can ask me questions, and we can figure out together whether it makes sense to work with each other.

Because I'd much rather help you find the right massage therapist than convince you that I'm the right one.

A little note from me

This post is based on my own experiences as a massage therapist, the way I approach my work, and the things I've learned from the people who have trusted me with their care.

It is not medical advice, and it isn't meant to diagnose, treat, or replace care from your physician or other qualified healthcare provider. Every body and every situation is different. If you have questions about whether massage is appropriate for you, especially if you're dealing with an injury, medical condition, pregnancy-related concern, or other health change, please talk with your healthcare provider.